Strike a Pose (ASK)

 

Hell yeah dude. To be the envy of everyone on the beach, man or woman. To have them crawling across the sand to get a taste of your titanic muscles, to feel you in all your hot, sweaty glory.

Rad indeed. The best part is; you don’t even need to take roids to get there. Sure, they help put and extra umpf in those muscles, but as a skinny skater, I doubt they’ll do much more than give you a head rush.

Instead, I want you to simply wade out into the water. Yeah man, just like that. Slowly, letting every drop caress your skinny, boney legs. Let them absorb the salt, let it flow through your veins, harden your skin…

I can see you’re going deeper now. Don’t worry, the tide won’t catch you. Just keep going, letting the water up to your waist. Let it fill those trunks of yours, let it seep into the crack of your ass. Feel that? That’s it beginning to take effect. You’ll notice it’s getting a little harder to walk. Trust me; it’s not the water pressure.

Now, let it rise up your chest. Feel it start to carve your abs and fill your pecs like water balloons. Feel it start to mold your arms, replacing the space around them with rock hard muscle.

By now, you’re damn near up to your ears. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe. Just dip your head under and let the final stages of your transformation take effect.

SPLASH. There you go. You can feel it starting to happen can’t you? The salt starting to engulf your head, starting to shrink your brain. You know you want to go back up, but you simply can’t. Every fibre of you is being molded and changed to fit one specific purpose: to get swole.

I think you might be just about ready. Come up to the surface, feel the cool ocean wind against those muscles. God those muscles. So big and so swole. Don’t be shy, you can check them out. Yeah, that’s your body now. You’ve been working out for years— decades even, and this has always been your favorite place to come to show off your adonis physique.

Now for the final crescendo: lift those arms, just like that. Flare those lats, bounce those pecs, and give me a nice, dumb roid poser grin. There you go. Now… flex.

Raaaaad dude.