A dangerous thing, messing with time like that… it’s not enough that I’d be turning you into a 50-year-old man—that would be easy. No, you want to see yourself in 30 years. That kind of transformation can be tricky.
Why? To put it simply, I won’t have very much control. See, if I start advancing your body clock, I can only make small adjustments along the way. Like the color of your hair, the size of your cock.
The fact is, I don’t know what your behavior is going to be like over the next 30 years. You could be working out consistently, or decide to stop working out altogether. You could decide to get piercings all over your body, or a tattoo or a mermaid on your ass.
These are all decisions you will ultimately make, but you might not necessarily mean to make them now, and there won’t be anything I can do to stop them from happening.
Still interested? Of course you are. That’s why you’ve come here. Well, at least you want to start slow. This means the transformation won’t hit you all at once. God willing you won’t be able to even tell you’re changing until a week or so in. If anything, you’ll just look like a slightly more mature version of yourself; more vascular, maybe even a few gray hairs…
I’d say 30-year-old you seems to have taken nice care of himself, wouldn’t you? Looks like you were going to keep up your workout regime, maybe throw in some more weights. Wow, this looks to be going a lot better than I expected…
Now, the next week, you’ll start to notice more concrete changes. People make a lot of lifestyle changes in their 30’s; they get married, start a family, settle down. Don’t be scared if you put on a little weight, maybe start to loose some of your hair. This is natural.
In your case, I wouldn’t be too worried. If you’re in this great shape at 30, I think 40-year-old you is gonna look even sharper.
Uggggghhhh… maybe I was wrong.
Nothing to be alarmed about! Again, you’re still looking nice and muscular, although you seem to have put on more weight than I expected. Not to worry, like I said, 30’s can be rough on people. And you seem to have *ahem* let yourself go a bit.
You still look like you work out, but you’ll probably end up eating a lot more, which would explain why your six-pack is looking more like a one-pack. But look at the bright side! I bet the girls love that grizzly-man beard of yours…
What do you mean girls won’t talk to you anymore? That’s absurd! College girls can be so picky with their guys. If they’re not young, they’ve gotta be jacked. And while you’re certainly “jacked” you’re looking more “dad-bod” than “beach-bod” at the moment.
But you’ll be entering your 40’s next week. And in their 40’s, guys tend to start hitting the gym A LOT more, not to mention improving their diets. Call it a mid life crisis, if you will.
Now THAT’S more like it! Turns now that mid life crisis served you well: you’ve made it to 50 a bonafide bodybuilder. I’m sure it wasn’t easy… for your future self that is. Speeding up your body clock was a piece of cake, and I’m sure you enjoyed waking up every morning to find a new pound of muscle added to your frame, a new maturity to your gait and a depth to your voice.
Now, the bad news is that I couldn’t find any of your female peers who were willing to hook up. Sadly, it appears older guys don’t hold much appeal once they’ve past 35, and you look a solid 53 right now (but a handsome 53, if I do say so myself).
But you said you didn’t mind guys, right? Well, I sure hope you did, because as it turns out, the guys at school have gone even more crazy for you once you’ve started rapidly aging. There’s a whole line of horny college twinks waiting to get their hands on your “dad-bod” though I don’t think it would be fair to call it that anymore. I think “daddy” will work just fine.
Better get used to hearing that, bud.
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