Seniority (ASK)

Sounds like you need some friends closer to your age. Normally, I would turn your friends into a bunch of giggling twinks, but I don’t think that’s what you are asking.

No, what you want goes beyond age. You don’t just want to outpace them in years, but in wisdom and knowledge. You want the maturity and seasoning that comes with age, like wine sitting in a cellar for decades, waiting to be popped open.

Unfortunately, I can’t do this overnight. This kind of transformation takes time. I can speed up the process a lot, but I guarantee you’re going to enjoy the small subtle ways in which you’ll “out grow” your friends in the coming days and weeks.

It will be subtle at first. You’ll start to sprout hair in places you didn’t think possible. You’ll find your voice getting drastically deeper, your skin getting rougher and your muscles getting harder. Your friends will try and convince themselves you’ve stayed the same, but by the end of the first week, you will definitely look ten years older.

The next week, you should start to notice other, more nebulous changes. Ones that will be hard to place. For instance, you might find it harder to remember where you put your keys in the morning. You might find you are remembering things that never really happened, like the day your kids were born, or you 35th birthday—or was it your 36th? You might find that your 20/20 vision feels more like 12/20. You might find that you can’t leave the house without a pair of glasses—and not before drinking three cups of coffee.

Your friends will definitely have caught on by now. You are for sure their age or older, and yet you still seem to be aging. Getting more and more mature, less like the scrawny kid of the group and more like the wise old daddy. Hell, with the added muscle mass, you’re sure starting to look like one.

But hell, it doesn’t stop there. The third week will be the hardest. You’ll lament the loss on your hair color, and the fact that you have to work extra hard to make it to the gym every morning. But somehow that gives you more incentive. You love to be around younger guys, so naive yet so joyful. You might resent the fact that you can’t lift as much as you used to, or the fact that your back isn’t exactly the strongest part of your body, but you’ll love the small things, like combing your luxurious beard or coming home to your family (even though most of the kids have left the house).

But it doesn’t matter, because your real “kids” are your friends. You know it bugs them when you call them that. “Kids.” But it’s what they are, compared to you at least. You’re not just the oldest one in the group; you might be one of the most mature guys they know.

Not that it’s my place to say, but it might be time to find more friends around your age. Again.