The Ultimate Frat Boi (ASK)

I think I get about a dozen of these exact same requests every week, but you know what? I’m in a pretty good mood today. So yes, I will turn you into a “frat boi.”

But I’m not just going to turn you into any run-of-the-mill frat boi; I’m going to turn you into the biggest, frattiest frat boi. I’m going to turn you into the king of douche baggery, the granddaddy of arrogant assholes, the cocky son-of-a-bitch with a cock that just won’t quit.

I’m going to turn you into Dan Bilzerian.

First, you feel your hair start to change, and by “change” I mean there’s a helluva lot more of it. On your head, on your face. You run a hand through your thick, luscious beard, sending waves of testosterone pumping throughout your body. The beard styles itself, not a single hair out of place, as that signature cockyness begins to take hold.

Invisible hands fly in from every direction, groping and caressing your unshapely form. You flash a signature frat boi grin as you feel your body begin to expand out, each hand pulling a piece of your flesh and muscle away from your bone and hardening it into pure, solid muscle.

Fuck dude, you’re getting huge.

The hands make their way down your legs, turning your gangly twigs into massive, hairy tree trunks, your feet into massive size-13’s.

But the hands aren’t just “hands” anymore. Beautiful women surround you from every angle, admiring your massive physique, gripping your dick. Your testosterone spikes, and that cock practically explodes out of their hands, slivery white pre-cum dripping from the tip.

Now everything is changing around you. Your house, your car, your life. You’ve got the idilic frat boi set-up; two massive houses, dozens of cars, a personal gym, a private jet, and a harem of beautiful people to worship your body and milk your dick whenever you please.

You flex, embracing your raw masculinity as your cum paints the wall and the floor. It won’t be the last time you cum tonight, I can guarantee that. After all, I’ve just turned you into the biggest frat boi of all time (literally, you’re enormous).

So what are you going to do? Play a killer game of poker? Take a surprise trip to Fiji? Or are you going to take that girl up to your bedroom and show her how a “real man” fucks?

Yup, I thought so. You frat bois are so predictable…